Memorial Day

To watch the Memorial Day concert on PBS this evening was pretty powerful. I am not a believer in the war personally and I will leave it at that. I think everyone has a right to their own opinion when it comes to the subject of war.

For my step-son who is a captain in the army stationed in Germany and waiting to be deployed to Iraq again I have nothing but respect and gratitude. Why? Because he walks his talk. He believes in what he is doing and he acts on that belief. I admire that.

I have seen what this war has done to him, how he has changed and yet he believes in what he is doing. I honor that in him and still most respectfully disagree in the concept of war.

But for all those who do serve I give you my respect and support. For the families of those who are serving and for those who have lost loved ones in the service of this country I send you my prayers, for your loved ones and for the end of all war.

Mothers Day

Well here it is Mother's day again and as with any day of significance that only arrives once a year it serves to highlight some of the changes that have occurred.

For me I only have my step-daughter in the area these days and thankfully she has two little one so that it helps me forget that I have my son living in Florida and my daughter living in Massachusetts.

My work schedule did not allow me to travel to Massachusetts this year so I will not be able to join with my sisters, sisters in law and Mom for Mother's Day this year.

Life changes and though I may not always like the changes it is important to honor the fact that I am here to witness it as it goes by.

I wish all of you who are Moms a wonderful day.

I wish all of you have have lost your Mom a moment to reflect on some of the wonderful memories that relationship must have brought into your life.

I wish all of you trying to become Moms a big virtual hug and hope that it will happen soon.

As for me I am off to work today with the knowledge that I have done my best over the years to be a pretty good Mom

Mom and Her Investments

I was visiting my Mom in Massachusetts a few weeks ago and she is still a little unsure of herself when it comes to her investments. She has been living on her own for about 7 years now and thankfully she now has someone we trust to manage her portfolio. I didn't fully realize that until I was helping her go through some paperwork and she showed me several investments she had made before turning things over to " Bill" the financial planner.

To picture my Mom, think of a little old Irish Nana...because that is what she is. She is from an era when you trusted professionals just because they were a professional. That meant that if you were a lawyer you were a good lawyer, or good doctor or a good banker. My Mother in law is exactly the same way and God forbid we should suggest to either of them that they may be a little misguided in this regard.

One of the questionable investments they signed my Mom up for was a whole life insurance policy for $10,000.00 to cover her burial expenses. She didn't want any of us to have to worry about it. That was where she became vulnerable and trusted the insurance agent to tell her what to do.

First off my Mom didn't need it. Second of all the premiums are payable for 20 years totaling almost $20,000. Third it is not a great savings vehicle. Only about 3.5 percent after the first year. That was listed at 5.25 percent. After asking a few questions (and mind you I am no expert at any investments myself) it became clear that she did not understand exactly what she was signing up for nor did she know that it was not really right for her circumstances.

What was her response? Well they were very nice and they said it would be the right one for me. For a moment I wanted to get on the phone and call the agent who wrote the policy....I still may but at the time it would have embarrassed my Mom. So, I settled for gently asking her to not make any more decisions of this sort without first talking to Bill and then also talking to myself or one of my other siblings.

I know that as gently as I put it she felt chastised and then asked if she could get out of the policy. I am working on it.

I love my Mom and I get angry when I see people take advantage of her. I guess I have to step up a little more often and have some of the money conversations with her. None of my siblings had any idea she had done this either.

My understanding is that whole life insurance is often not the right type for many people and not quite the investment vehicle an agent may make it out to be.

Little Girls

I love my two grand daughters. It is so much fun buying their clothes for them and shoes. I love little shoes for little girls. Oh yeah... I love shoes for big girls too.

My husband has started monitoring me and the shoes I bring home. It really is ridiculous because in the end I wear about four pair over and over. I feel like a guilty and at the same time defiant teenager as he tells me no more shoes until I thin out the existing herd.

I have now resorted into smuggling them in.

I am just drawn to the promise these shoes seem to offer. They are cute and sexy or promise to make me taller than I am which translates to I will look slimmer.... I know it's weird women logic. I was at a fashion show the other night and we were all ooohhing and aahhing over the shoes the models were wearing.

Here the truth...after about four minutes I would be exchanging them for one of my four favorite pairs.

I can still look though...

Saying goodbye

I was off and traveling again this week. I had planned a quick trip to Massachusetts to see my Mother. Unfortunately my sister in law's Dad died just a a couple of days before my trip. We all knew he was ill and that it didn't look good and yet you always hold out hope...or at least I do.

Tim was a great guy and not all that much older than I relatively speaking. He loved his family and his golf. He had a great smile and a warm and easy way. I think in someways he was the father my brother wished he had been able to have.... and in a way he was.

I still have both my parents and I try not to dwell too much on what my life will be like without them. We all know it is an inevitable reality. I do know that I will have many people to help me through when it does happen as I witnessed this week with how we all wanted to be there for Elizabeth and Kevin. For now I am going to try to appreciate what I have an realize that no...it doesn't last forever

Easter in Midlife

First and foremost...for all of you who celebrate, Happy Easter. It is often chilly at Easter but today there was definitely snow in the air along with winds and cold. Some other differences this year:

1. I usually have Easter at my house....this year none of the kids who live out of state could make it home and my step-daughter had plans with her grandparents and Mom.
My husband and I went over in the afternoon to play with the grand kids.

2. Dinner is usually for 5 -9 people...today just my husband and myself.

3. Usually the flowers are starting to bloom.....this year it is still winter.

4. Life is changing again...it's going to take some getting used to.

Tax Season

Well it's almost tax day....we get a few extra days this year but not enough to make a big difference if you are one of the folks who waits until the last minute. As for my husband he likes to get things going the beginning of February. That is because he needs to figure if he can afford his golf trips to Florida.
This is the first year in 32 that we have had no children to declare....the last one left the house last summer and has been supporting himself.
Pretty much it was down in black and white for all the world to see including the IRS. No more kids at home....we are empty nesters. And we have to work a little harder to keep as much of our money for us and not give it to the government.

Being Part of the Sandwich Generation

You know I had heard about the sandwich generation and I guess one day I would be part of it but as always I think I have more time. Nope....I guess I am a sandwich boomer or a boomer sandwich....either way I am taking care of my in-laws and soon my own parents just when I thought I was finally free from some of the responsibility in my life.

A week of vacation in Florida...to my husband it is great because we are visiting his Mother who still thinks every man should be waited on hand and foot....no offense guys. As for me it only takes about half an hour and she is giving me the list of what she wants to get done while we are there and how the phone bill is a mess and she has been waiting for me to get it straightened out.

I feel guilty as I head to the pool because she wanted someone to talk to. I start nagging my husband to help me get the to do list taken care of....ooh I hate when I do that and guess what?..... so does he.

And then wonder of wonders he says that next winter he wants us to spend 20 days of each month in Florida with Mom....."won't that be great?" I cringe inside...not because I don't love her but I guess I thought I would have few years between the kids all being gone and then taking care of the parents.

In days gone by you may have had all the family members living together and it would seem the most natural thing to all be under one roof .....but this is today and I must have missed hearing that this is how it would all unfold.

On a positive note..it is Florida and I am not a cold weather person.....and for right now my stepson and his wife and daughter live there as well. I can elder sit and babysit at the same time.

Spring Cleaning

Even though there is still 6 inches of ice and snow outside the door I am determined to think spring! This time last week it was 70 degrees out and sunny and then we got hit with the storm on Friday. It made for a bit of a complicated weekend. My step kids and business partners at our store ended up stranded in Florida. My husband was laid up in bed with a 102 degree fever( that ugly stomach bug that has been around).

So I was left to shovel snow and man the store. It would be so noble to say I handled it all without a thought but I would be lying. I did however survive the weekend though I did not do much to honor my Irish roots. I talking to my daughter I confessed that I was indeed not wearing green, but black and gray. Perhaps I was subconsciously mourning or maybe I was just dressing to look slimmer.....who knows?

St. Patty's day was spent at the store and in front of my computer listening for the feeble calls of my husband to get him water.....I know a bit dramatic....I did manage to get some writing done and for that I was pleased.

So onto today. The weather has got to give and so do I. I have been in hording mode all winter. "You never know what your facing" is what my Mother In Law loves to say. Well I'm facing a lot of useless stuff and it has got to go. Time to lighten up!

Though as I look around it may take a week or two. If I look on the bright side however I may find some of the things that have been among the missing the last few months.

I am a Baby Boomer

I am a Baby Boomer. Sometimes I don't quite believe it for I still feel like an 18 year old. However anyway you slice it I am going to turn 50 this year. That puts me in the range of birth years that determines if you are a "boomer".

I found myself arguing with my son about it the other day. He kept insisting I wasn't a boomer and when presented with the evidence he turned to me and said "wow you're old"!

Old or not I can still be beautiful and that brings me to why I felt moved to write today. Age does not determine beauty....or intelligence or accomplishment or man other things. that however is for another day.
Today I wanted to share a site I was on presented by Dove. They have a great pro-age commercial on it and the mixed reactions to it. They also have another film you should check out as well.

I would love to know your reactions.

http://www.campaignforrealbeauty.com

Don't Die With Your Music Still In You

If you came of age in the mid seventies as I did it is likely that you remember the band Boston. They were an incredible rock band and their music is as good today as it was then..at least to a die hard fan like me.

When the band really took off I was living in Boston during my especially wild child days. I still smile or perhaps it is a grimace when I think of those days. Boy did we love our music, in fact you might say we lived for it. I know the "right" thing to say might be that I lived for my college friends or my education but for me it was all about the music. Our lives truly revolved around it and our favorite bands.

Well I just read that the lead singer of the band Brad Delp died, though they are not sure why and I can't help but feel a little sad and you know what a little more mortal. He was younger than my husband and only about 5or 6 years older than I am. Because really deep down inside of me I am still that rock and roll girl. I guess a part of me always will be. I can't help but be sad when anyone I felt somewhat intimate with even if only from a distance passes.

Music is such a binding force and I still listen to Boston. I am sorry that Brad is gone and yet it only motivates me even more to not waste another precious moment. Wayne Dyer, who I greatly admire, is fond of reminding us all don't die with your music still in you. They are great words to live by and I find that as I let my music out into the world (figuratively of course) I find that there are more and more songs waiting to be written.

I am grateful to have lived at a time when the band Boston could have an impact on my life. So how about you....is you music still stuck inside of you? If it is take notice.

I'm Back

Wow it's been a while since I checked in and said hello. I am doing a lot of research lately into all the changes we go through at midlife. Granted I have been through most of them......but I do want to give value in my coaching and so information gathering is crucial.

I am always open to what might be your biggest challenges in midlife. Many of you e-mail me directly and that is great. Feel free to post here so others can see and share.

Today...my biggest challenge.....is how sore I feel after working out. I try hard not to give in to it. I work at maintaining my strength and flexibility but boy oh boy today I hurt.

This may mean that I am getting older but this gal is not going down without a fight.

I'm Back

Wow it's been a while since I checked in and said hello. I am doing a lot of research lately into all the changes we go through at midlife. Granted I have been through most of them......but I do want to give value in my coaching and so information gathering is crucial.

I am always open to what might be your biggest challenges in midlife. Many of you e-mail me directly and that is great. Feel free to post here so others can see and share.

Today...my biggest challenge.....is how sore I feel after working out. I try hard not to give in to it. I work at maintaining my strength and flexibility but boy oh boy today I hurt.

This may mean that I am getting older but this gal is not going down without a fight.

The Events that Unite People

I was at a concert last night...two groups that people my age will undoubtedly remember, BJ Thomas and Gary Puckett. Everyone in the audience was around my age though I will happily admit that I was on the younger side of the crowd.

It was absolutely freezing last night and with all the snow on the ground there was no parking near the theatre. We parked more then a few block away and though I wanted to walk the other three people I was at the concert with wanted to wait in the cold for the trolley. After about one minute I decided to walk to the theatre and meet them there.

I had plenty of people to walk with and we were a cheerful bunch. After arriving at the theatre I was waiting in the lobby for my group. Every person walking through the lobby door met me with a huge smile.....we were united by not only a common love of music ,but by sharing the experience of a freezing cold winter night. I was warmed deep inside as I found myself foolishly grinning back at all those I met.

Oh us crazy old people...we spent two and one half hours singing to some old favorites and then piled back out into the cold chatting the whole way back to the car.

Something so simple united a group of people....shouldn't it be easy to find our common ground on other levels as well???

Back to Work

Having spent the week in Miami FL on both business and pleasure I find myself back at work and shivering in the cold of New Jersey. I truly enjoyed spending balmy evenings looking at the boats in the harbor after a hard day at work. I was a bit apprehensive as I headed down for the business conference. I would be sharing my hotel room with 2 other women who 4 weeks ago I had no idea existed.

What would they be like? Would we all get along or would I be miserable and wishing I had spent the extra money for a private room? I determined that I would keep an open mind and hope that I would like them both. And guess what? That is exactly how it worked out. They were both wonderful and we enjoyed getting to know each other. One woman was from Texas and one from Connecticut. We had lots in common and at the end of the weekend I was so happy to have taken a chance on sharing a room with two strangers.

The conference was a combination of rock concert and business meeting. By the time it ended my brain was so full I could not have absorbed another scrap of information. It was just the right time to head up to Boca Raton and visit with my son ( my baby). Boy I miss him. It was great to jump out of the car and crush him in a huge hug. We spent the next few days catching up and talking about everything under the sun. I actually held it together as I said goodbye and did not shed a tear until just before my plane landed back in New Jersey.

Wow what a week. I am back to my coaching, writing and promoting 101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life.

Here Is The Link

Hi Everyone,
The Book 101 Great Ways To Improve Your Life Volume 3 is officially launched. If you follow the link not only can you buy the book but you will have access to some incredible bonuses.
http:www.1shoppingcart.com/app/?Clk=1800882
Here's to having the best life possible.

I Am Learning What I Can Do

There are so many times in my life that I took the easy way out. I gave myself an excuse to get out of stretching beyond my comfort zone. If it seemed risky or hard or scary I simply told myself " I can't do that."

It got me out of doing a lot of new things. It kept me stuck and honestly a bit angry with myself. You see way down deep inside I secretly believed I had the ability to achieve a lot of things and to give back to this world in a much bigger way. Guess what I was afraid, so I just took a pass and gave up.

Well no more. Midlife has truly awakened me and alleviated much of my fear. I am not going to get any younger and I am not going to keep taking a pass on life because I am afraid. How about you?

To that end I submitted an article to an upcoming collaborative book project and it was accepted. So tomorrow the third volume of 101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life is going to be launched with my article in it.

One small step for Maureen.....It was a little scary but I pushed that aside and got on with the business of living in a bigger way.

Picture Perfect

I had to have my picture taken for business on Friday. In the best of circumstances I don't like to have my picture taken and the fact that I have gained weight since my transtion into menopause has just added to my discomfort.

Being a coach is probably the only thing that helped me get through it. I was practicing acceptance of where I am now and trusting that the picture would reflect me in a way that others would get a sense of who I am and what I am about.

With that being said I did enjoy all of the experience up until I had to view the photos. It truly was a test of my ability to accept who and what I am right here and right now. I wanted to shudder and look away. I wanted to say "who is that woman" as my insides often do not match the woman reflected back in pictures and in the mirror.

I often feel younger prettier and free when not presented with the reality of the fact that I am a woman fast approaching 50. When I hit 40 I felt that it was not how I had imagined it would be. I feel that 50 will be the same way....as long as I do not obsess with my looks, the weight and my inevitable aging.

Let me know your thoughts and I will keep you posted

Women and Weight

I just finished watching the Lifetime movie Fat Like Me. I had to tape it to watch later. I know there have been a lot of shows doing similar type scenarios with beautiful thin women putting on fat suits and seeing how they are treated.

I believe the show Ugly Betty had something to do with it and I am happy to see this kind of attention brought to a difficult subject even if it is overkill.
The preoccupation we seem to have as a society with being thin instead of being healthy is a subject that needs to be talked about again and again until we understand the effect it actually has on us all.

I was actually a naturally thin child, you know the kind that could eat anything and and not gain an ounce. That all changed however around the time I got my first period. My weight became a struggle after that with pretty big fluctuations heavy to thin. I even was what would now be termed a borderline anorexic.

All that aside I have worked pretty hard to stay in a healthy range. I will always be a curvier woman, no longer naturally slim but I had kept my weight in a range I was comfortable with for the most part until I actually entered into menopause.

Now it is all out war......but more than anything I want health over weight loss for the sake of being skinny. I will have to admit though I am not exactly as comfortable in my current body as I would like to be.

I would hate to think that I am being judged yet in truth I at times judge myself feeling that I am letting myself down.

Women and weight are complicated subjects and they are part of my journey.....As I progress through midlife I am dealing with being a healthy desirable woman while carrying a bit more weight than I like.

Jumping in Feet First

2007 and I am trying to get myself back into gear. It has been slow going and in someways the holidays through me off course more so then in previous years.
Trying to clear the junk food out of the house has been a challenge and I am almost there.
Getting back into the exercise routine has shown me what a slug I was becoming over the holidays.
I am easing back in but boy I am still sore.
It sure seemed as though I was hustling about throughout the holiday season....isn't that why I was exhausted?
I guess I was fooling myself.
There will be no stepping on the scale for at least a few weeks but my clothes don't seem any tighter so I think I must have been holding my own in the weight department.
I am not making a New Years resolution but I am setting an intention to get in better shape this year than last year and eat even healthier.
Now it's there in black and white...sigh.