Great Information for all us midlifers

I found a great blog today thanks to Rhea over at Boomer Chronicles. If you have a chance i day stop on over and check it out. You won't be disappointed.

For a bit of a makeup hound like me it was an eyeopener to read about the amount of makeup they believe we actually absorb into our bodies. Also if you want to look well, eat well, live well etc. head on over to the Wastrel Show and check it out.

Have fun...

No More Excuses

I went to the doctor the other day for the ever popular yearly "woman's" checkup. The once over is what I call. Don't get me wrong I really love my Doctor and I think he does a great job. I tend to always prefer the alternative route if possible meaning my last course of action is prescription drugs and he is always there walking right beside me.

He did the once over and we talked about some things... primarily my sluggish thyroid and came to a decision that we will finally give a course of thyroid replacement a try.

Everything else seems fine and he sent me on my way with a promise that I would get a mammogram soon. I will admit that I have been pretty lax about the regularity in which I obtain one. This month I vow to follow through.

I have never made a conscious choice to not get a mammogram. I just became one of the many who became to busy. Maybe because it was one more thing that had to be scheduled into a pretty hectic life. I have been relying on the monthly self-exams to
cover the bases. I would prefer to get a thermogram but no one offers it in my area.

National Breast Cancer Awareness Month is fast approaching and as I give daily thanks for my friends who have survived a battle with breast cancer I understand that it is time to step up and start exercising some self-care... meaning getting the exam with no more excuses. So that is my commitment. By the end of October I will have had a mammogram and a bone scan as well.

For any other woman who has been putting it off I invite you to join me.

When Mom and Dad Divorce

It feels so weird to be 50 years old and still have my parents going through divorce. They have been into it now for 7 years. I received my own divorce and have been remarried for 5 years. Both my sisters got divorced during the time frame and yet nothing has left more of mark on all of us than watching this drag on.

I spent the morning at the attorney's office with my Mom figuring out a strategy to help her get by until there is a resolution ....which does not seem to be forthcoming anytime soon.

You know all the crazinness comes out when it is your parents. You still take sides even if you don't want to. Dad pretty much shut us all out when this started and picked his health care provider over the family. His health is deteriorating which makes this whole thing even harder. He won't let us into see him and it is hard to converse on the phone.

They are both in their mid seventies and the hurt feelings have been built up over 45 years. I feel like I am a parent to my Mom through this and yet part of me wishes it would all go away and I could just be their daughter.

I guess I believed it would not happen to them and seeing drag on is like a bandaid being slowly ripped off a wound. Not too pretty.

Back to School

Well the kids are going back to school and boy I feel as though I am going back to school a well. I really feel as though I have been off this summer though in reality I have been working hard. I guess it has been offline so to speak.

I really feel some of the nervous anticipation trying to get back into the blogging and getting reconnected with everyone online. I have missed a lot of what has been happening simply because I have not had a great deal of computer access the last two months. It has been pretty strange but in some ways quite restful

One of the best things that happened this summer was to start a local chapter of Powerful You! Network for women. I have met so many women from my area that I did not know existed. I have enjoyed the energy of the groups and making connections both business and personal. I have also been busy with the radio show and starting a small mastermind group.

Mix that with a all the mundane stuff like work and the summer has gone faster than any summer.....except maybe when I actually was a kid.

Oh and last but not least....I hit the big 50 this summer. Still haven't figured out how I feel about it but it doesn't matter.....it isn't going to change....right???

Half Hearted Watcher of Talent Shows

I don't know what is happening to me. Maybe this is my midlife crisis. I am one of those people who have never watched American Idol. The whole talent show thing didn't interest me. Then came Dancing with the Stars. It was good. I loved dancing and watching it and it kept me interested.....as long as I didn't have something else better to do.

Last summer I became infatuated with So You Think You Can Dance. I loved it. I got everyone I know interested and they loved it. Then as the pattern goes....I couldn't tie myself down to committing to a show. Sure taping it was always an option but I had to remember to put int the tape.

Then came 2007 and into my life ....DVR. It became so easy to keep up with the shows. My husband became obsessed with taping Dancing with the Stars and making sure I watched it each week. Well then it became a chore. I could barely hang on until the end.

This summer came So You Think You can Dance again. What did I do? I entered a pool. Now it really was a chore to try to keep up with all the episodes and I am two weeks behind. I'm just winging it at this point.....though I am keeping my head above water.

So tonight as I watch this I figured it out......just watch the last episode. Tonight it is the last episode of Americas got Talent. I am watching and having fun...no pressure.

Glad I got that one figured out! Oh I am voting for the ventriloquist.

E-Mail Bankruptcy

I read an interesting article a few weeks back when I was in Massachusetts visiting Mom. Actually I was there for one of the big birthdays.....50 years old. It's hard to believe but that is for another time.

Any way this article was written by someone who was declaring e-mail bankruptcy. He was done...throwing in the towel and no longer going to attempt to dig out from the mountain of e-mail in his inbox.

He had made some preparations. He had e-mailed the people he wanted to still hear from and let them know his plans. He also advised them to resend anything they felt was vitally important because he was going to check all and them push delete.

After relishing the the peace and contentment of an empty inbox for probably a few minutes ( at least if his inbox is anything like mine) he would then attempt to use e-mail as a viable form of communication once again.

As for me I cheered silently as I read the piece. I have felt for sometime that I was drowning in e-mail and after being away from my computer for a few weeks I am sometimes feeling hopeless about ever really reading all the e-mails I have.

The thought of pushing a button and starting fresh feels pretty tempting right now...I just have to get up the nerve and keep reminding myself that I have made it this far without reading all those messages just sitting there waiting patiently.

I think it will be OK.....right?

Getting Back on Track

Wow the past month has sped by and most of it has been lived without regular access to a computer. My husband was thrilled about it until he lost our e-tickets and needed to find an Internet cafe in Paris to try to retrieve copies of them.

Alright....the truth is he finally had to ask me to do it for him.

After the stress of living in passport hell I must say that Congressman Mike Ferguson's office came through and got them for us on the last day. I was doing a two day training seminar before I got on the plane and I can probably count on one hand the number of hours I was sleeping each night before taking off.

When we finally arrived in Germany I had been up for about 38 hours straight.......I get cranky when I don't have enough sleep but I must admit I surprised myself and held it together.

I thank everyone for their support and will get some wedding pictures up soon.

Passport Hell

I am one of the many who are biting their fingernails and praying for their passport to arrive on time. I applied for my passport just when thing began to get hairy and the floodgates opened with the applications pouring in from people trying to get a passport to travel to Canada, Mexico and the Caribbean.

At the time I offered to pay the additional amount of money to have my passport expedited. I was assured that this was absolutely not necessary. I had more then ample time to receive my passport. So did my daughter as well as my step son and daughter in law.

With our travel dates closely approaching we began calling the passport office as we were traveling in the next 14 days so apparently they would allow us to talk to the customer service reps. I do use that term lightly. Not because they didn't want to be helpful.....they just had no information they could give us.

The best suggestion they had was to try to make an appointment at the regional offices located in Boston, Norwalk, Washington D.C., Philly and NYC. Impossible.... there were no appointments available never mind it was going to be hard to take extra time off from work to travel to these destinations when I am already taking time off for the trip. These agents, whom I am sure are getting used to dishing out a somewhat bleak picture regarding actually getting your passport on time, told us just that. It probably was not going to happen.

I confess that with my step-son getting married and then going back for his second tour to Iraq, I wasn't much in the mood to hear that news and so I did reach out to my State Representatives and Senators.

They have actually been very responsive and are trying to help. My step son and his wife who live in Florida and were also working with their local congressman received their passports today....they leave Monday. I have been told I will be receiving my passport tomorrow as will my daughter. I will not completely relax until I have it in my hands.

They have relaxed the rules a bit allowing for those traveling to Mexico, Canada and the Caribbean to print out a confirmation stating they are in the application process. That and picture ID will get you on your flight.

As I am going to Europe I have to have the real deal. The conversations I have had with the myriad CSRs as well as the information I have been getting has really done nothing more than create a sense of frustration. I was advised more often than not that they really couldn't tell me where I was in the process. Not that they didn't know, they just were not allowed to tell.

So for today I keep holding the picture of me sitting on the plane, passport in hand on my way to London. Quite exciting as I have never travelled anywhere as yet that required me having a passport.

What women want

I logged onto yahoo today and there was an article written by a mens coach advising us about what women want. Honestly I was pretty put off by the 10 things he thought men needed to know about women and I am a coach.

I do think he was good with his advice on how to make your self attractive to a woman and how to repulse a woman (if you are a man). I guess that is what surprised me. I won't say he was completely off the mark with his 10 secrets we need to know but I think he made the bulk of women seem .....well dumb and not having much depth.

This is just my opinion. But I think a woman wants a man who is real. I don't "need" to be surprised once a month and yet I do like surprises. I stopped believing in the fairytale a long time ago and concentrate on the real world full of real men. I have liked and loved a few men and have not spent all day trying to look good for any of them. I have other things that I have to get done. Do I try to look good.....yeah. But the game playing stopped awhile ago and that is when the real relationships began.

Kids and Germs

This is one of the things I deep forgetting now that my children are grown and gone.....kids carry germs.

Case in point. I have been down with a rotten cold for about a week now. In fact last Friday was when I last spent time with my infant niece, Poppy. When I first saw her Wednesday my sister in law said she had been running a fever and had a cold. I thought too bad little girl and held her and cuddled her.

Repeat performance the next night. I don't get home to often and so I tend to get a little overly demonstrative when I see her.

Friday night I babysit for her. She is doing better and I am still not thinking that her cold is related to me in any way.

Oh but then Sunday comes and I am feeling miserable. It is so hard when I get reminded that I am not invincible.

But boy she is cute and with this this cold... I am not.

Memorial Day

To watch the Memorial Day concert on PBS this evening was pretty powerful. I am not a believer in the war personally and I will leave it at that. I think everyone has a right to their own opinion when it comes to the subject of war.

For my step-son who is a captain in the army stationed in Germany and waiting to be deployed to Iraq again I have nothing but respect and gratitude. Why? Because he walks his talk. He believes in what he is doing and he acts on that belief. I admire that.

I have seen what this war has done to him, how he has changed and yet he believes in what he is doing. I honor that in him and still most respectfully disagree in the concept of war.

But for all those who do serve I give you my respect and support. For the families of those who are serving and for those who have lost loved ones in the service of this country I send you my prayers, for your loved ones and for the end of all war.

Mothers Day

Well here it is Mother's day again and as with any day of significance that only arrives once a year it serves to highlight some of the changes that have occurred.

For me I only have my step-daughter in the area these days and thankfully she has two little one so that it helps me forget that I have my son living in Florida and my daughter living in Massachusetts.

My work schedule did not allow me to travel to Massachusetts this year so I will not be able to join with my sisters, sisters in law and Mom for Mother's Day this year.

Life changes and though I may not always like the changes it is important to honor the fact that I am here to witness it as it goes by.

I wish all of you who are Moms a wonderful day.

I wish all of you have have lost your Mom a moment to reflect on some of the wonderful memories that relationship must have brought into your life.

I wish all of you trying to become Moms a big virtual hug and hope that it will happen soon.

As for me I am off to work today with the knowledge that I have done my best over the years to be a pretty good Mom

Mom and Her Investments

I was visiting my Mom in Massachusetts a few weeks ago and she is still a little unsure of herself when it comes to her investments. She has been living on her own for about 7 years now and thankfully she now has someone we trust to manage her portfolio. I didn't fully realize that until I was helping her go through some paperwork and she showed me several investments she had made before turning things over to " Bill" the financial planner.

To picture my Mom, think of a little old Irish Nana...because that is what she is. She is from an era when you trusted professionals just because they were a professional. That meant that if you were a lawyer you were a good lawyer, or good doctor or a good banker. My Mother in law is exactly the same way and God forbid we should suggest to either of them that they may be a little misguided in this regard.

One of the questionable investments they signed my Mom up for was a whole life insurance policy for $10,000.00 to cover her burial expenses. She didn't want any of us to have to worry about it. That was where she became vulnerable and trusted the insurance agent to tell her what to do.

First off my Mom didn't need it. Second of all the premiums are payable for 20 years totaling almost $20,000. Third it is not a great savings vehicle. Only about 3.5 percent after the first year. That was listed at 5.25 percent. After asking a few questions (and mind you I am no expert at any investments myself) it became clear that she did not understand exactly what she was signing up for nor did she know that it was not really right for her circumstances.

What was her response? Well they were very nice and they said it would be the right one for me. For a moment I wanted to get on the phone and call the agent who wrote the policy....I still may but at the time it would have embarrassed my Mom. So, I settled for gently asking her to not make any more decisions of this sort without first talking to Bill and then also talking to myself or one of my other siblings.

I know that as gently as I put it she felt chastised and then asked if she could get out of the policy. I am working on it.

I love my Mom and I get angry when I see people take advantage of her. I guess I have to step up a little more often and have some of the money conversations with her. None of my siblings had any idea she had done this either.

My understanding is that whole life insurance is often not the right type for many people and not quite the investment vehicle an agent may make it out to be.

Little Girls

I love my two grand daughters. It is so much fun buying their clothes for them and shoes. I love little shoes for little girls. Oh yeah... I love shoes for big girls too.

My husband has started monitoring me and the shoes I bring home. It really is ridiculous because in the end I wear about four pair over and over. I feel like a guilty and at the same time defiant teenager as he tells me no more shoes until I thin out the existing herd.

I have now resorted into smuggling them in.

I am just drawn to the promise these shoes seem to offer. They are cute and sexy or promise to make me taller than I am which translates to I will look slimmer.... I know it's weird women logic. I was at a fashion show the other night and we were all ooohhing and aahhing over the shoes the models were wearing.

Here the truth...after about four minutes I would be exchanging them for one of my four favorite pairs.

I can still look though...

Saying goodbye

I was off and traveling again this week. I had planned a quick trip to Massachusetts to see my Mother. Unfortunately my sister in law's Dad died just a a couple of days before my trip. We all knew he was ill and that it didn't look good and yet you always hold out hope...or at least I do.

Tim was a great guy and not all that much older than I relatively speaking. He loved his family and his golf. He had a great smile and a warm and easy way. I think in someways he was the father my brother wished he had been able to have.... and in a way he was.

I still have both my parents and I try not to dwell too much on what my life will be like without them. We all know it is an inevitable reality. I do know that I will have many people to help me through when it does happen as I witnessed this week with how we all wanted to be there for Elizabeth and Kevin. For now I am going to try to appreciate what I have an realize that no...it doesn't last forever

Easter in Midlife

First and foremost...for all of you who celebrate, Happy Easter. It is often chilly at Easter but today there was definitely snow in the air along with winds and cold. Some other differences this year:

1. I usually have Easter at my house....this year none of the kids who live out of state could make it home and my step-daughter had plans with her grandparents and Mom.
My husband and I went over in the afternoon to play with the grand kids.

2. Dinner is usually for 5 -9 people...today just my husband and myself.

3. Usually the flowers are starting to bloom.....this year it is still winter.

4. Life is changing again...it's going to take some getting used to.

Tax Season

Well it's almost tax day....we get a few extra days this year but not enough to make a big difference if you are one of the folks who waits until the last minute. As for my husband he likes to get things going the beginning of February. That is because he needs to figure if he can afford his golf trips to Florida.
This is the first year in 32 that we have had no children to declare....the last one left the house last summer and has been supporting himself.
Pretty much it was down in black and white for all the world to see including the IRS. No more kids at home....we are empty nesters. And we have to work a little harder to keep as much of our money for us and not give it to the government.

Being Part of the Sandwich Generation

You know I had heard about the sandwich generation and I guess one day I would be part of it but as always I think I have more time. Nope....I guess I am a sandwich boomer or a boomer sandwich....either way I am taking care of my in-laws and soon my own parents just when I thought I was finally free from some of the responsibility in my life.

A week of vacation in Florida...to my husband it is great because we are visiting his Mother who still thinks every man should be waited on hand and foot....no offense guys. As for me it only takes about half an hour and she is giving me the list of what she wants to get done while we are there and how the phone bill is a mess and she has been waiting for me to get it straightened out.

I feel guilty as I head to the pool because she wanted someone to talk to. I start nagging my husband to help me get the to do list taken care of....ooh I hate when I do that and guess what?..... so does he.

And then wonder of wonders he says that next winter he wants us to spend 20 days of each month in Florida with Mom....."won't that be great?" I cringe inside...not because I don't love her but I guess I thought I would have few years between the kids all being gone and then taking care of the parents.

In days gone by you may have had all the family members living together and it would seem the most natural thing to all be under one roof .....but this is today and I must have missed hearing that this is how it would all unfold.

On a positive note..it is Florida and I am not a cold weather person.....and for right now my stepson and his wife and daughter live there as well. I can elder sit and babysit at the same time.

Spring Cleaning

Even though there is still 6 inches of ice and snow outside the door I am determined to think spring! This time last week it was 70 degrees out and sunny and then we got hit with the storm on Friday. It made for a bit of a complicated weekend. My step kids and business partners at our store ended up stranded in Florida. My husband was laid up in bed with a 102 degree fever( that ugly stomach bug that has been around).

So I was left to shovel snow and man the store. It would be so noble to say I handled it all without a thought but I would be lying. I did however survive the weekend though I did not do much to honor my Irish roots. I talking to my daughter I confessed that I was indeed not wearing green, but black and gray. Perhaps I was subconsciously mourning or maybe I was just dressing to look slimmer.....who knows?

St. Patty's day was spent at the store and in front of my computer listening for the feeble calls of my husband to get him water.....I know a bit dramatic....I did manage to get some writing done and for that I was pleased.

So onto today. The weather has got to give and so do I. I have been in hording mode all winter. "You never know what your facing" is what my Mother In Law loves to say. Well I'm facing a lot of useless stuff and it has got to go. Time to lighten up!

Though as I look around it may take a week or two. If I look on the bright side however I may find some of the things that have been among the missing the last few months.

I am a Baby Boomer

I am a Baby Boomer. Sometimes I don't quite believe it for I still feel like an 18 year old. However anyway you slice it I am going to turn 50 this year. That puts me in the range of birth years that determines if you are a "boomer".

I found myself arguing with my son about it the other day. He kept insisting I wasn't a boomer and when presented with the evidence he turned to me and said "wow you're old"!

Old or not I can still be beautiful and that brings me to why I felt moved to write today. Age does not determine beauty....or intelligence or accomplishment or man other things. that however is for another day.
Today I wanted to share a site I was on presented by Dove. They have a great pro-age commercial on it and the mixed reactions to it. They also have another film you should check out as well.

I would love to know your reactions.

http://www.campaignforrealbeauty.com